So long, so freaking long I never visited my own space in cyberspace Rawwwwrr, I kinda miss it but there are some things I'm quite afraid to discuss publicly, unfortunately there are some things now that I learned, better kept to myself than explicitly said to others.. Oh well.. Please reserve me that privilege..
Oh I miss my blog, I think about it once in a while and think of how much I wanted everyone to know whats happening to me, and also after a few whiles to realize that its better to keep those things to myself, so today after reading Yen’s ( a friend from Arua) comment on my Forum Account and she said that she read my blog, I finally came to senses and was overwhelmed that I started writing as soon as I get the chance.. So just to have a few recap of whats keeping me sane for the past missing months, here goes nothing :
November.. December ..
I was still addicted to rose so much I kept it in my usb so I can load it anytime, I was going out with a friend I met there and I was having a real nice time being a friend to him, he was also my friend’s ex bf.. that time I was still consoling him to wait for her and to start all over again, we go out once in a while watch movies, eat, texting here and there, everything was fun suddenly theres something more than friendship between us, it was implied in the actions, treatments, so sometime November we formalize it and I made a decision I never had given myself the chance in the last two years ..to love again ..
first meeting, from Ayala to Moa to Pier OneLalaine a close friend was also in
at Mall of Asia
It was this month when I finally decided to lay low playing, RoseOnline is cool, but theres something that needs more of my time and attention now, I realized there isn’t much need for me to find temporary happiness anymore, I've let go of one of my precious accounts to a friend, deleted my very own character and I found myself saying sumthing I never would have thought of.. “Theres more fun off the PC, theres most fun in life”..
Holidays feel so much different now, its not as lonely as before.. I use to feel empty hearing xmas songs over the radio for that reason I hate malling during xmas season, there isn’t much to see but happy people all around, and songs of joy and hope and love of god which I think, I, of all people was lacking.. Special seasons use to make me feel alone, but this time there’s a difference. Once again after so many years somebody was caring how I feel and how happy I must be during this season. This time I’ve forgotten how all the past Xmases scare me (theres a reason why I'm scared of Xmas breaks of course..) Most importantly this year I learned the gift of forgiveness..
On Christmas Eve I talked to God.. and I thank him for being a very generous God.. I remember last year, I was in tears while hearing the hallelujah songs, everyone was looking for me that time, I never felt anything, no shame at all.. Last year when I talked to God, I was in so much pain that I burst in tears upon hearing a praise song, I cant help myself, I found an ally and I was telling god all those I cant tell my parents or friends, I was talking to God even if I'm exactly sure he knows what has happened, last year, for the first time again, I felt comforted in the thought that God will keep his promise and he did.. with a bonus..
When I was able to completely forgive those who hurt me, I found myself being loved by someone I never expected. It all started with some joke and a deal to pacify me being in self pity. He would always tell me that if I still am available after 4 years, that he will marry me, that I will never be alone. Of course he was kidding me. Later do I know that he meant it because we are together now. More than thankful I am bec I know God kept his promise, after all the agony, He let me find an honest, true love.
Giggly : Together
at QC Circle.jpg)
after 4 months : mau and nelo in some mall near OrtigasI can still recall two years ago, it was Feb 6 when my ex bf took home a tiny shoe box with a puppy in it, I named that puppy Mikaela Angela, she’s more fondly called as Miki or Mikan, which are characters in anime tv series (Miki, the Girl in Soccer Anime.. Mikan the girl in
me and miki
This is the time when I realized how much fun having a career is, being able to buy what u want, being able to see how useful the money you share in the household. Valentines was rather hectic, working for 10-12 hours at that time, 13 straight days no rest, it was inevitable, but its forgivable, its only once in a year and the influx of demands of the season..
For the first time my birthday has passed and theres nothing in the house prepared, no visitors, none at all.. but this time it was a coincidence that my Tita Tina’s despedida party will be held that same day (despedida becase again they will be moving to Canada), so after coming from work I went straight home and right there at the CDCP intersection was my father’s car waiting for me.. Today after a very long time I went in an excursion with my family from my father’s side, we went Anilao, some beach there :) .. Along the travel we passed by some spot overlooking the amazing FantasyWorld.
kuya boyet, monik, momz posing for a pic with Fantasy World at the back
Some beach in Anilao
blushy me after some Gran Matador Brandy lewlsMarch.. April..
There isn't so much fun on March, only a few memorable and confidential ones lawls pur pur purrr.. But im stil half way hot April so lets see what could this month have for me.. Welcome back to me!
