My Birthday is almost here.. except that its a special day for me because its the day i was born or the day that made my parents happy, other than that, maybe thats just one ordinary day.. But heres the catch.. how many people on earth were born on a leap year.. Lol, because i was..Yeah.. i was told i was really born early morning of February 29, and since my parents would prefer me to be more likely "normal" i was registered in Pasig Municipality under February 28.. since that was the closest.. more or less.. Theres nothing really special about that day.. actually i thought that this will be one memorable birthday for me.. but i guess i can only hope for the best at this moment..Even i dont know where to go right now. I am confused with my own life and i dont know which turns are wrong..
Since November, I was fearing that this day would come that I'd be alone.. and i guess i would really be..Well, its my birthday anyways..so i guess I just have to live the fact that being alone that day would be okay.. On my birthday i wont take my phone with me, even if i know i will be rained with calls and greetings, i will reserve this time to myself..Enjoying myself, loving myself since no one does... Where will i go? grr I got limited budget.. i just lost my job didn't I? But where? Ill go abroad hehehe or ill go to zamboanga and play roseonline in Edwins computer shop, maybe ill go to Bataan to meet Lalaine and her cousins..Maybe i'll go to Roly's and spend a day in the pc shop with his friends. Maybe ill go to Elbi and drink all night with our badminton friends. or Maybe ill go see old friends and enjoy a nice Mary Kay make over.. Maybe i can also go to Tagaytay myself, walk walk and walk until im so dead exhausted. or i can go to Cubao and take the next trip to Baguio, or maybe i can go Star City alone and ride all the stuffs that i fear of. Or maybe i can go Batangas pier and take the earliest boat going Galera.. or the cheapest ferry going to Calapan, heading home to Naujan..
Where..?
Maybe also i can ask MrMouse extra money so i can buy a ticket to #*@@$ (decode that if u can) and hug one person then go back home. Maybe go to SG and take all pictures of myself everywhere. Or go to Bev in HK and have tea in Kowloon House.. I really think i deserve something for myself on that day.. but what??
Everything is so limited.. i feel like im in a cage but unwanted.. I wanna go far and i wanna be in a place where no one knows me..where i can cry and no one would care..i can laugh and go naked and no one would even bother to stare.. Where i can shout freely, carelessly, never minding any spectacles around..I wanna go to a place where i can leave it all.. The pain, the longging, the misery, the love. I think i deserve that right? if not always, well atleast on my birthday..
Im turning 28, and im still the same,childish me, im still the same me..Nothing good is happenning in my life, and i felt like the career im best at is being addictive to despair.. I wish that day would come and pass, because on that day i will again be reminded of how beautiful life is, excluding my own..
Well.. Just wish me a Happy Birthday..
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