Tuesday, January 8, 2008

All I Need Is Love

Somewhere in the web you will find this, yes, because i wrote it it a few years back.

Dear,

I'm quite sure you wont even bother reading my blog, i don't even know if you are aware i have one, nonetheless, i need you to listen to me, even just by simply scrolling down till the end..
When i met you, i realized how good it is to love and have someone. Those where the happiest days of my life, i was proud and blessed to have you, as a partner as a friend as a lover, we've been through good and bad times together, we made a great team, we've never left each other no matter what. I felt secured having you, contented in the thought that i have you to love me.
I admit that ours is not a perfect relationship, but to be perfect means to go through imperfections, flaws, misunderstandings, throughout the years, there were countless of those trials that made us stronger, more mature in this so called relationship bound by love.Thats what i have always believed.

I don't know what happened,because in the midst of everything, i suddenly felt that some things are slipping away, I don't know, i have a feeling that something isn't right but i was too afraid to know and realize that i'm right.One morning i woke up and you're already gone and i felt like dying. I beg you asked you to stay, come back... come back to me... this is just like the other mornings when fates tries to butt into our relationship, i guess i was baby, i truly want to think i'm mistaken thou i don't feel like one..

People judge me because i opted to keep you, People said that i should let you go, and i know that in my heart in its deepest, i sure want to do the same thing, but i cannot i dont know, i just cant.. It pains me in the thought that i can freely give my life for you but i cant give you your own happiness, because i know that your happiness is away from me, so much away from me, i was afraid that you will take with you the biggest part of me, and that i will never be fine anymore, im so afraid to loose you thou in my heart i want to let you go.

I guess im such a looser cause i cant accept that fact that after only 7 years that we are together you have stopped loving me, No this cant be happening, this is not true, I would always want to believe that someday i will realize that this just temporary, then again the pain is just too much, too much for me to be in denial.. How can you come to my life, beg me to love you and leave me just like that?..

Every night i pray that you will somehow learn to love me again ,little by little, endless nights, endless prayers, Thou i was happy in thought that were still together, but i'm afraid that because you don't feel the same way, You'll unconsciously hurt my feelings, and you did, i guess i no longer need to tell you how often i cry and how much i know, i just don't intend to start another fight, because then again you'll just tell me i don't have to endure everything, because i can always go..those words are even far hurtful than everything i've come to know..

I don't know until when i can stand loving you, keeping you or punishing you, I cannot really tell, But i sure want everything to change for the better, I still pray, i still hope, and believe in the best even at situations as worst as this. I never asked for too much when i met you 8 years back, but only to be my friend, and more than thankful of me because you gave me much..

All i need is love, just love ...

So easy for you to insist me to take more than what i ask you for.and now aking everything back.. more than you ever gave.. leaving me with less than nothing.

Years back i told you.. all i need is love.

Just Love..

I wrote this letter 2 years ago, and i have it posted somewhere in the cyberspace also, now i read it once again and it felt different, i felt happier, although i am still hurting, i felt something dissimilar to how i feel when i wrote it, i guess, i'm doing right.. even if it takes longer, or.. two steps forward, a step back.

No comments:

Post a Comment